just me

beautiful as you, my love...

2007-08-13T17:03:00.000+02:00

You can depend
On certainty
Count it out and weigh it up again
You can be sure
You’ve reached the end
And still you don’t feel

Do you know you’re beautiful
Do you know you’re beautiful
Do you know you’re beautiful
You are, yes you are

You can ignore
What you’ve become
Take it out and see it die again
You can be here
For who’s a friend
And still you don’t feel

Do you know you’re beautiful
Do you know you’re beautiful
Do you know you’re beautiful
You are, yes you are

Innermost thoughts
Will be understood and
You can have all you need

Do you know
You know about anything
Do you know
You know about anyone

Do you know you’re beautiful
Do you know you’re beautiful
Do you know you’re beautiful
You are, yes you are

Mandalay/Beautiful

Pentru hanitzi mea cea mai scumpa...

2007-08-09T14:31:00.000+02:00

I love you, my little sunshine!

take my breath away....

2007-08-01T02:45:00.000+02:00

Today I took a long walk. A long walk out of Paris. I was tired of all the things within and without it. I was tired of walking the same path, the same small streets. So I went back where it all began. I have walked one more time the path that led me here. I have walked with pride cause the things were different right now. Cause my soul and my heart were richer like never before. Like never I would imagine they would be. Because of the simple things someone gave me that filled my empty life as I never expected them to.

I saw places I have not seen for a long time. I smelled air that filled my lungs with long gone memories and I have said yes, I have made it. I am now a whole person filled with more that I could believe I'd be. And all these feelings that sway my heart are just of one's gift. A small gift that turned a person around. A small smile that opened a brighter day. A touch of an angel that took my breath away.

And even though you would not see what's inside me, as one once said " No one can tell you you're in love, you just know it, through and through", as that I know now that it is true. And does not matter what the weather says, does not matter what the wind tells you, does not matter what the other want you to believe - you are in love.

I love you my sweet angel ...

we are being controlled every step of the way

2007-02-08T11:36:00.000+01:00

Although this quote it was written by wrf3 in a post on slashdot regarding the intention of NY city to ticket people that cross the street listening to iPod music, it is too well said to let it die there. So here it is:

As long as the community has to pay for the consequences of your actions, the community is going to (attempt to) regulate your behavior. What Caesar pays for, Caesar controls. The more socialized this country becomes, the less free it will be.

this is rich :)))

2007-01-22T18:35:00.000+01:00

OK, today I still got over one of the consequences of the last year's bad track :D So, I was informed that I have to go to a police station for an excessive speeding incident. Rather curious accounting that my car is in a garage since October 2006 (4 months ago) :)

Well, big surprise :) Too bad that I do not care anymore :))))

no aliens for us :)

2007-01-19T15:03:00.000+01:00

Well no chance to have a third degree encounter during your life time:
"So much space, so little time: why aliens haven't found us yet"

love is ...

2007-01-17T17:13:00.000+01:00

"...passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart.You're not hearing any heart?Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

what is love?

2007-01-17T12:43:00.000+01:00

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Oh, I don't know, what can I do
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
What is love

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love?

use less? :)

2007-01-17T11:06:00.000+01:00

Well it's about time
It's beginning to hurt
Time you made up your mind
Just what is it all worth

All my useless advice
All my hanging around
All your cutting down to size
All my bringing you down

Watch the clock on the wall
Feel the slowing of time
Hear a voice in the hall
Echoing in my mind

All your stupid ideals
You've got your head in the clouds
You should see how it feels
With your feet on the ground

Here I stand the accused
With your fist in my face
Feeling tired and bruised
With the bitterest taste

All my useless advice
All my hanging around
All your cutting down to size
All my bringing you down

All your stupid ideals
You've got your head in the clouds
You should see how it feels
With your feet on the ground

free will?

2006-12-22T18:46:00.001+01:00

Problems that rise some interesting questions:

http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=8453850

when you're born a lover, you're born to suffer

2006-12-22T18:41:00.000+01:00

Here, somewhere in the heart of me
There is still a part of me
That cares

And i'll, I'll still take the best you've got
Even though I'm sure its not
The best for me

When you're born a lover
You're born to suffer
Like all soul sisters
And soul brothers

I, I can see the danger signs
They only help to underline
Your beauty

I'm not looking for an easy ride
True happiness cannot be tried
So easily

When you're born a lover
You're born to suffer
Like all soul sisters
And soul brothers

Like all soul sisters
And soul brothers

You can take your time
Ill be waiting in line
You don't even have to give me
The time of day

When you're born a lover
You're born to suffer
Like all soul sisters
And soul brothers

Like all soul sisters
And soul brothers

why?

2006-12-05T10:30:00.000+01:00

Why does it have to be the same every time? Every time just emptiness inside, and a heart that can bleed no more. Why does this happen? I knew from the start that it was too good to be happening to me, but I hoped with all my being for it to be true.
Something tells me that it would have been better if today never existed... I wish I could show you how I feel about you, I wish I haven't done all those things that made you leave, I wish you would stay...

staking out - my new hobby :)))

2006-11-23T15:53:00.000+01:00

Another story that I haven't told so far was that sometime in July I have ordered on the internet a refrigerator from a firm established in Paris. I have chosen the brand and model and paid for it online, the money being cashed in after 2 days. The promised delivery delay was from 8 to 20 work days.

As probably you have guessed already, cause if it were not the case I would not have written this post, after more than 30 work days no delivery was made. I have called the firm and I was told that my refrigerator was not in stock and that it will take until the second half of October to be delivered. OK, that was a little too much for me - from 20 work days to more than 60. So I have decided to cancel the order and to buy a refrigerator from somewhere else.

When I have canceled the order I have been informed that I will be reimbursed in 8 to 15 days. This was on 14 September. As usual, the deadline for reimbursement has passed and no transfer was made to my banking account. Big surprise :) Further more, each time I have talked with the folks at the overcharged hot line of the store they told me that they will send the cheque next week or that their boss was absent and that there is no one that can sign the cheque. Of course no cheque was received.

One fatal mistake that the reimbursement office of that firm was that it had added in the cc of the mail containing the order cancel confirmation all the people that made a cancel order demand in the same time. This facilitated an exchange of messages between the customers, that helped us see that no reimbursement was made for anybody on that list. Some people on the list started talking on getting a lawyer and suing the company. But nothing was made to this date.

Seeing that my attempts were totally ignored by the hot line support team I have decided to do a rather "nasty" thing: I went to one of the Paris stores of this company and demanded to talk with a supervisor. If they would not put me in touch with a supervisor I have warned them that I will not leave the store. Although I am not a mean person, this situation made me act like one.

So I talked on the phone from that store to a supervisor and as usual he told me that my cheque was sent to me that very afternoon. Really???, I have told him. From that moment on I started talking loudly at him in order that all the customers in there to hear me. He kept telling me that he can't do anything and if I would like the cheque I should go by myself to their offices located somewhere in the suburbs of Paris. Well, that was not my problem, I have waited more than two months for the reimbursement, so I am not supposed to do this trip to get the refund. I am in one of the company's locations, location that sells stuff, so somebody could write me a cheque and I will be on my way. The supervisor started yelling at me and invoking the same old excuses that his employees used on me before. I have told him I do not believe him even a little bit and that I would stay in the store until someone handed me my cheque.

As you probably imagine after the conversation was over I was invited to leave immediately the store, because I am no longer a customer of theirs. Really? I did not wanted any trouble so I have exited the store and stood right in front of the building. Starting from that moment I have began talking with every man that entered the store in warning him that what has happened to me could happen to them too, if they buy from that company. Very surprising, most of the people were very cooperative and received my message very well. Some even told me when they have left the store that they haven't bought anything and thanked me for the advice.

After one hour and a half, the employees of the store seeing that I was not going to give up in talking to people that entered the store decided to call the police :) And although I was standing on public property - the very street with the store, at one meter in front of that building - I was asked to leave the premises, on the reason that I cannot perturb in this way a business. I do not know if the police was right but as how I am not a law specialist and not wanting to learn it using the hard way (plus that the lunch break in which I did this was long time over :) ) I obeyed the recommendation and left.

Finally, this Monday I went straight to the company offices and requested personally the cheque. After the small show I have done in front of the store I was well known at that office and my cheque was handed to me right away. I have told them also what they can do with their excuses :))

I was a little bit disappointed if even in France there are people that do business in this way, by violating the contracts and mocking people around. I was not sure all the way if the effort was worth it, because the amount of money they had to refund me was not that significant, but it was more a question of principle. And finally I have discovered that the satisfaction you get finally makes up for all the effort invested in such a story.

Still, if I think about it now, maybe I will put this in my CV, because how many people can say they have done this and did succeeded in the end ? :)))))))

if you can feel it, you believe it

2006-11-17T12:21:00.000+01:00

I believe in the wonder
I believe this new life to gain
Like a God that I'm under
There's a drugs running through my veins

I believe in the wonder
I believe I can touch the flame
There's a spell that I'm under
Got to fly, I don't feel no shame

The world is mine
The world is mine
The world is mine

I've lost my fear to war and peace
I don't mind that (the world is mine)
You took the price and realize
That to your eyes (the world is mine)

Take a look what you've started
In the world flashing from your eyes
And you know that you've got it
From the thunder you feel inside

I believe in the feeling
All the pain that you left to die
Believe in believing
In the life that you give to try

The world is mine
The world is mine
The world is mine

I've lost my fear to what appears
I do my best(the world is mine)
You seem surprised and realize
That to your eyes (the world is mine)

The world is mine
I've lost my fear to what appears
I do my best(the world is mine)
You seem surprised and realize
That to your eyes (the world is mine)

I've lost my fear to what appears
I do my best (the world is mine)
You seem surprised and realize
That to your eyes (the world is mine)

...hayling...

2006-11-17T12:15:00.000+01:00

...don't think about all those things you feel, just be glad to be here...

...so empty...

2006-11-16T20:04:00.000+01:00

Although I have said that the previous post will be the last for today still I cannot leave without saying that once again I have that feeling deep inside my being, the feeling that tells me that I am missing something, something that once was there without knowing it so and who's absence now makes my life look rather black and white. It's a hollow and empty sensation that rises up in my soul, it's like a small pain that has no psychical cause, an imaginary knife planted deep inside my soul.

And maybe this is due to the music I listen, even if I know that I should stop listening to some tunes that make me feel this way. Anyway, it is easy to write here, no one cares anyway... what's the use?... there isn't any... good night nobody...

Moments of hapiness

2006-11-14T14:07:00.000+01:00

We all feel sometimes that wonderful feeling that invades our soul and that nothing can stop it. It usually catches us unprepared to accept it and most of the time it comes from a very simple and an unrealistic beautiful moment in our life.

How beautiful can such a feeling be we all know for ourselves, and for everyone I presume is a different experience. But is an experience that changes us in unexpected ways. Still it is very nice when we realize that we are happy, that you can live the moment and say "I cannot see how I have lived without being happy, breathing life through all my pores".

It is well known that is not an everlasting feeling, that event the smallest thing can break it apart. Happiness is a state of being rather than a target to achieve. And for this is such a difficult thing to have.

Anyway, maybe sometimes later on I will fill in the remaining of this post, but for now something prevents me from doing it right. Maybe the state of feeling I have....

Life is a flower...

2006-11-08T18:41:00.000+01:00

...but what is a flower if not the image of the love we seek? a flower with thorns but with a fragile content that sometimes reveals itself with such a beauty that we are afraid not to tear it apart even by doing the smallest wrong gesture.
Not long time ago, I could not see the beauty of such a thing, the richness of such a simple feeling, the way a life can be changed by a soul burned out by this feeling. I do not know if there is anything more than this in this life, but if there is, I can bet that loving someone is by far the most heart filling thing, the only thing that raises our soul to the heights of the Elysian fields.

I should have written this entry in Romanian, because in my native language we have two words for "love": "iubire" si "dragoste". The two are used with almost the same co-notation, with the difference that when we use the second one it is always implied that it involves more than a friendship. "Iubire" refers to a much pure feeling, it is the kind of love you might also have for a close friend. "Dragoste" refers to a much deeper and "head over heels" kind of love, a love that is not conditioned by anything.

Still in Romanian we have another word for which I have failed to find a correspondent in any major known language. It is called "dor" and describes the feeling that you have in your heart when you are missing a loved one. It is not the action of missing by itself, but rather the feeling you have within. Yes, you could say "I miss you" or "Tu me manques" but it would not have the same meaning. It is only a dear person that can make you feel this way when she/he is not near.

There are a lot of persons for which I have this "dor" feeling right now. There are a lot of simple things missing for me that sometimes seemed to be there by default. But if all this trip in the unknown helps me find the thing I was always searching for, even in the times when I did not realise it, than all this effort is worth while.

life's patterns

2006-10-27T18:45:00.001+02:00

Don't you have sometimes the impression that all our life we are faced with a sum of situations in which we react very predictable? I don't just mean that the way we react is not logical, but sometimes all these choices that we make are made in order not to affect our future in a negative way. And all the mistakes we make are made on the same reason. And somehow, in this way we limit later on our possibility to discover and experience various things.

For example, at a certain moment we have chosen to take a safe path that guaranteed us a calm but rather dull life afterwards. And this includes the choices we make when we decide what school to get in, what job to have, what car to drive, etc. If you can rise your head above the crowd you can see that life is not by far that exciting. And if you can not maybe it means that somehow along the way you've got lost in what you wanted, in what you really felt about life.

The safe path, as I have said, leads often to a dull existence. You can see this all around - people doing all kind of things and forgetting why they are doing them. Why are you doing you job, raising you kids, paying for your car, apartment? What is the real purpose? Just to say "Well I am the best in my field" or "I am so proud of my kids" or "I have 3 cars and 4 houses", etc ? OK, let's presume you are there, you have done all that, what's next? Of course you can get an extra car, house and even have another kid but this is not a contest. Or maybe this is the purpose of this life? Always to get better, to get higher, to be the first?

Yes, you can say that this is how we have got so far, but can you say that the men that built the roads we are walking on, the men that made the food we are eating, the men that raised the San Francisco bridge or the men that landed on the moon were really happy, were they satisfied about their life? Of course you can say that some of them have done something exceptional, but seeing it all as a whole, were are mere pieces in a huge Lego game, and everything we do now can be considered exceptional if we look back far enough. But if we understand how we have got here is finally just a matter of consequence, seeing all the steps done by all the people behind us, we have just did the next step forward, as it was foreseen.

We have a natural predisposition for progress, for evolution. This is how we arrived here today. But from here we can choose to do more and not just do the next step forward. Do more with our life, add meaning, add sense, add feeling. How can we do that? Surely, no one knows the answer even though we might be searching it. But we can get a step closer if we could, not just for one minute but for one life, get over barriers, open our souls and minds, feel the person near us and enjoy every minute of our life.

This could be the start, the rest I am leaving you to show me what to do. We have one life, let's make the best of it.

one after another

2006-10-24T18:33:00.000+02:00

Not being sufficient that my car was broken, today my bike managed to collect a pin from the road and - hazaaa - now I have a flat tire! Ok, something is happening, someone I think is playing bad tricks or making badluck charms over me. Well, if you can hear me I am comeing after you to kick your ass :))

Really, all this year everything went in the wrong direction. And I could see that from the very start. I knew what was comeing. The problem is that everything I do to change this situation seems to make it even worse. Maybe, I do not know, I should not try so hard. Still there are just two months to go from this year, so hopefuly nothing worse will happend. But let's not forget that "if something can probably go wrong, it will" :)

I hope that I will wipe the slate clean at the begining of the next year, and even if I do not believe in superstitions, from what I have seen so far, the first few days of the new year usually mirror the whole year happenings. Anyway, the things will gonna have to change.

Now I am wondering what will go wrong tomorrow ??? :))

managing a car accident ... in france

2006-10-23T11:07:00.000+02:00

As previewed, today I have walked down to my assurance company to discuss the outcome of the situation generated by the car accident I had Saturday. I do not know how it works somewhere else, but in France if you have a no victims car accident the police does not get involved. It's up to the drivers to complete a report. This report is then filed to the insurance company and further on it is the job of the insurance company to argue with the other drivers' insurance companies about the fact of who's guilty and who is going to pay for the damages. Rather strange.

I guess all the insurance companies have the interest of not paying for the damages, but how it is going this thing to be solved? They all gather in a room and fight it over? :) I think not, because from what I have understood the process is a black box for the end-user, with no precise result and even more important, with no precise deadline for the answer. So it can take from weeks to months. It is not very convenient when it is you ass on the line, it was not your fault and all you have is a basic insurance. Now all you can do is wait and hope that the others will pay your repairs. Nice, huh? :)

Well, in my case, after the expertise I will have tomorrow in order to evaluate the damages, I will begin the repairs and hope very hard that I will be reimboursed. Still I think it could have helped if the police would have filled in a report, and not leave the decision only based on 2 pages of 100 words report written by the drivers and a lousy drawn scheme of the accident. Fortunately, we took some pictures of the accident scene so I hope that will help clearing the doubts.

first message

2006-10-21T16:11:00.000+02:00

Well hello, this is my very first blog post. Until now all this blogging trend was for me just a waste of time. But now, not having anything better to do I've decided "why not?", I am not doing anyhow anything else interesting. Maybe this stuff will help me "calm down", as one of my frends says, because for example today, I have managed to wreck my car in a stupid lo speed accident on the streets of Paris. Nice, huh? :)

Don't know so far if this will teach me something, but what's in it to loose? Well, you will be hearing here all the unimportant stuff that fills my life, empty as it is. I will try not to be very boring beacuse I am the one of the most easily to bored persons I know, so I will try not to do this to you too. And if you hang around for a while you will probably find out a lot of things about me, more or less interesting, more or less nice, more or less philosophical.

And also, to get your attention, sometimes later I will publish some photos with my wrecked car :))) Let's hope till then all will be all right and the assurance will take care of all the repairs.

So this is it, let's see if anyone out there cares to read these messages. We are go. Have fun.